Best band names of recent weeks
"12 Rigid Inches of Nanny-Punishing Manhood"
"Maya's Monkey"

Wren's Nest
The Wren's Nest has the latest in pagan and witch news from Western North Carolina and all over.

Odd Audio
It's actually not odd at all. It's very cool. Remember those storybook records you had when you were a kid? They're all online now, at basichipdigitaloddio.com. I had this Robin Hood record. I loved it! Put your kid in your lap and listen at the computer, while you flip along with the virtual book.

There's tons of other goodies, like old TV and radio jingles, a vast collection of whistling records and much more. Very cool site for you audiophiles.
To honor the passing of Ashvegas' Bob Moog, the site is also streaming classic Moog records. Check it out.

Speaking of gambling
Y'all know I just got back from Las Vegas. With gambling on the brain, I was surprised to see that Mountain XPress had an interesting cover story last week on local video poker. The story could have gone further, but it's a start. If you missed it, check it out here.

From the crime blotter
Local newspaper crime blotters are chock full of great, often overlooked, items. Check out this gem from the Haywood County News:

A Waynesville woman on July 13 told a sheriff's deputy that when she returned home, she found her ex-boyfriend in the front yard dropping off his boat.

When she walked up to her house, she noticed that front door was opn and all the lights were on. She "said that when she went inside, she noticed that a back window was also open," the deputy wrote in his report.

She "said the only property she noticed missing was some naked pictures of herself."

Bele Chere countdown
Is everybody ready for the annual invasion? Some predictions:
-At least one significant musical act will cancel at the last minute
-A thunderstorm will drench the festivities, awakening a couple of passed out drunks in Pritchard Park
-WLOS story: Bele Chere officials say crowd was biggest ever for three-day street fest

Lunchtime for Charu

My spywitnesses over at Tupelo Honey tell me that Cherub Charu stopped in for lunch Thursday afternoon. Charu's chauffeur, a local television station photographer, parked in a no-parking zone along Pritchard Park while Charu dashed in to make her order.
Let me go off on a tangent for a minute - I hate it when the TV people do that shit. Park in no-parking zones. Double park. Pull right up to the front door and park. Who the hell do you think you are? Just because you've got a camera gives you the right for free parking all over town? Just because you're on TV, you better than the rest of us who have to find lawful parking?

You guys break the law every day, and nobody says a word because you're the TV people. That shit really pisses me off.

OK, now that I've gotten that off my chest ...

Charu waited for a good 15 minutes, we are told. We hope she ordered our favorite - the Tupelo burger, with that gooey cheese and lots of fries. Take all that pre-wedding stress out on that chunk o'meat, babe. Charu looked classy in her peach suit, according to the onlookers.

Sign this

What was up with that bullshit sign language Tammy and Darcel pulled Thursday night? (I think it was Tammy and Darcel. I look away for one minute, and there they go again.)

Where are they now?
Whatever happened to Jason "Boy Wonder" Boyer, WLOS weather personality for about two seconds?

Boyer had a mouthful of metal and looked to be all of about 15, yet there he was, giving us the weather report every night. Had he even graduated high school yet? We think not.

Actually, the Boy Wonder jumped around a little, to Chattanooga and now Denver, according to the latest I could find on the Web. He's looking much older now. Which is to say, he looks about 20.
Here's Boyer:

"When I'm not tracking storms or forecasting, I like to relax at home & play the guitar, or spend time outdoors hiking. I also love sports, especially watching my Alma Mater, the Fighting Illini basketball team-GO ILLINI!! A good pick-up game of basketball or tennis is fun, but I try to enjoy 18 holes of golf as much as the weather will allow. I'm happy to be making WB2 & Colorado my home."

Boyer, all I've got to say is: HOW 'BOUT THEM HEELS?! (helz ya)

Getting a Batman fix in WNC
I found this recently and thought it was pretty cool. Link to it here. Read on:

There's more in western North Carolina than a cave for those "Bat-fans" seeking to combine travel trivia - and beating both tourism and public relations folks to the punch. But don't forget Bat Cave in Henderson County.

GOTHAM: OK, so you won't find Batman's "haunt" on any map of North Carolina, but you will find a number of examples of Gothic architecture in Asheville (more commonly known as the home of the *Biltmore Estate*); according to the city's tourism bureau, one of the best is the *Grove Arcade Public Market*, a neo-Gothic building constructed in 1929 and recently restored; it now houses shops with crafts, fresh foods and eateries.

RA'S AL GHUL: As best as could be determined, there are no branches or sects, hidden or otherwise, of the "terrorist" group Ra's Al Ghul, headed by actor Ken Watanabe, who trains Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) in the fine art of killing, aided by Henri Ducard (Liam Neeson), who takes a liking to the Batman-to-be.

But, if anything Batmanish is your quest, you can come close: Ra's Al Ghul translates as "The Demon's Head." If you hop onto the Blue Ridge Parkway in Asheville and head north, you'll find the next best thing - times seven: "Seven Devils," which is on Highway 105 between Boone and Valle Crucis.
BRUCE WAYNE: Batman's alter ego doesn't claim to be a native of, of ever living in, or (as best as we can tell) even visiting North Carolina. But, if you were him, would you tell anyone? So, maybe - just maybe - you'll rub elbows with him by heading west of Asheville on Interstate 40 toward Maggie Valley, then turning south on Highway 74 to - Waynesville.

HIMALAYAS: Yeah, we know; the famed mountains are not in the United States. But if the movie "Cold Mountain" (which is in North Carolina) can be filmed in Romania ...
There's Mount Mitchell, which, at 6,685 feet, is the highest peak east of the Mississippi River. It's easily accessible from the Blue Ridge Parkway, north of Asheville.
And if you drive farther north, you can visit Grandfather Mountain, another mile-high-plus peak.

Formula for fun in the mountains
Formula One driver Michael Schumacher, a huge international racing star, was on our side of the world recently for circuit races in Montreal and Indianapolis for the U.S. Grand Prix (which turned out to be a disaster - a bunch of drivers sat out the race because they said tires were too dangerous for the speed of the course at Indy Motor Speedway).

Anyway, the champ spent some time riding on of his Harleys through the mountains.

"You have great spots country-wise," Schumacher said Thursday in a news conference at Indy. "We just came from a tour with the bikes from Asheville up to Indianapolis, and we stayed in this Blue Ridge Parkway area. We spent about one and half days there. ...You have so many beautiful places to experience, and having the chance to come here to race, I obviously want to take the opportunity and see the country."

Gore scores new shorts

You didn't really hear much about this story locally, but it's been all over the Web and a hot story in golf circles:
Jason Gore was a no-name golfer who had a couple of great days at the start of the U.S. Open in Pinehurst last weekend. Turns out that on his way to the tourney, he stopped in Ashvegas, where his car was broken into and somebody stole his underwear. Luckily, they didn't get his golf clubs or shoes.

Jim Litke wrote a column about it, and everyone ran the column. Gore's stock shot up like you wouldn't believe.

Here's an excerpt from a U.S. Open Website interview I found:

Q. When you were coming in this week, what was your mindset? Was it to win the tournament, was it to build some momentum so when you got back out on the Nationwide Tour you would have more confidence; what was your thought process coming in?
JASON GORE: It was actually when I was going to get a new stereo for my car and how I was going to keep my wife in clothes. Our car got broken into Sunday night and had everything ransacked. It was in Asheville, North Carolina. We were driving from Knoxville. So, yeah, that was our first day here at the U.S. Open was trying to find my wife something to wear.

Q. Why were you driving from Knoxville?
JASON GORE: Well, I had second stage U.S. Open qualifying in Atlanta. And my friend, James wasn't in Chicago, which last week was the Nationwide event. So he took my car from Atlanta to Knoxville, where this week's event was. So we flew back into Knoxville, and was going to drive over here, and we stopped in Asheville because it was about 1:30 in the morning and my wife went to go get her clothes and there was none.

Q. Took everything?
JASON GORE: Took my stereo, took my computer
Q. Clubs?
JASON GORE: My clubs were actually in my caddie's car, because we were traveling with our eight month old son, and everybody who has children knows how much crap they take. He took them because he was driving from Chicago here. So luckily we had golf shoes and golf clubs, and I had some clothes. But they took all my underwear, those poor guys (laughter.)

Q. So the joke's on them?
JASON GORE: Yeah, he who laughs last, right?

And there was this column from the Contra-Costa Times:

... this is what Gore said when someone asked about his "thought process" before stepping onto the biggest stage of his 6-year pro career:

"Actually," he replied, "it was, 'When am I going to get a new stereo for my car and how am I going to keep my wife in clothes?'"

The story there is that thieves broke into his car last Sunday night when the Gores stopped in Asheville en route to Pinehurst. They got everything but his clubs and golf shoes, and missed those only because Pullen volunteered to drive them down from their last stop on the Nationwide Tour in suburban Chicago. Rather than embittered, Gore was amused.

"They took all my underwear," he chuckled, "those poor guys."
It's a good thing the 31-year-old former wunderkind from Southern California likes to laugh. Rarely has America's national championship yielded so few red numbers and so many humorless expressions.

Tammy all dolled up

What was Tammy wearing the other night - some sort of crimson jacket with a high-collared, sequined thing underneath. She looked like a freakin' Vegas showgirl or something. Tammy, you got a gig on the side, or what?
We're used to seeing Tammy around town in a ballcap and jeans, looking more like a dude than a darling. Whaddup, grrrl?

Cracker replacement?

Is the local TV station ever going to hire someone to replace Frank Cracker as a main anchor to team with Diva Darcel? It's been a few months since Cracker left to go up north. Meanwhile, there's been a revovling door of anchors sitting beside Diva Darcel.

This makes our head hurt. We want to see regular anchors handle the desk duty, while the rest pound the streets of Ashvegas for the news.

What ever happened to...

Emily Lopez? E-Lo was an arrogant babe who sort of looked like a Latina Jennifer Gardner with those little librarian glasses she wore.
E-Lo hated anyone else taking a bite out of her story. I heard rumors awhile back that she got into a little hot water over some interview with the governor or something. Anybody know where she is now?

A quick search on the 'net shows E-Lo landed in Raleigh at WTVD/Channel 11 after finding her husband in Asheville. What is it will all these WLOS babes getting married in Ashvegas? Here's news of her from '04. A sample (in that same beauty-pageant-answer style that these people always write in):

There she met her husband and learned to love and hike the mountains of western North Carolina. A job offer at WTVD then landed her in Durham, North Carolina. Emily's motto: "I'm here to tell stories…that are insightful, compassionate, and inspiring…that's what I set out to do everyday…I am fortunate enough to be doing something I love at a place I thoroughly enjoy."

Bulldog offers these reports:

Scott sighting

There was a Kathy Scott sighting over the weekend. Although it was pre-WLOS footage, Kathy was featured in one of those Dick Clark "Bloopers" shows that aired during the rain delay in Sunday's Braves game.

Scott was in an outtake demonstrating a story on how thieves break into cars, trying to crack the passenger side window of a car with a crowbar. But she wasn't strong enough to make it happen. They ran about 6 takes of Scott using a crowbar, a baseball bat and, finally, a metal pipe before she was able to break the window.

A real pro, she never changed expression and her lines never varied a bit. And it goes without saying she was cute as hell doing it. Makes you wish she was still around, working with Candice - love to see that on-air cat fight.

A victim's story

Here's today's installment of "My Low-Grade Rage," courtesy of ABC's "Good Morning Liberal America."

Robin Roberts interviewed yet another in the never-ended GMLA series of "victims," this one named Kathy Trant of New York. Trant's story is heartbreaking: Her husband was killed in the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center and she was forced to get on with her life with $5 million in settlement from the U.S. government (read: your taxes) and private donations.

So to cope with "her grief" (her words), she has spent most of it. She dropped $1.5 million to remodel her Long Island home, $300,000 for a basketball court and $500,000 (half a million) for designer shoes.

Now she has "only" half a million left, and she's going on national TV as a sniveling "victim" of a "shopping addiction" to tell her story "to help other victims and addicts." ABC even trotted out a pyschologist to add credibility to this incredible sham.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I never knew you spelled "grief" as G-R-E-E-D.

One other thing. Is BULLSHIT one or two words?

Cherokee casino expanding?
Seems the Eastern Band of the Cherokee want to ramp up the gambling in Cherokee. The tribe has given the governor a new proposal, one that would allow them to expand to a new location, offer credit and offer live gambling.

Has the conversation ended?

Ashvegas blew up a few years back when Ashvegas City Council debated whether to spend taxpayers' money to buy a piece of public art called "Conversation Piece #4c" by sculptor Ida Kohlmeyer. Council ponied up about $50,000 of our hard-earned money in the end, but that's where the discussion ended.

Council said it was going to put it out on display, and asked for input. One idea was to place it along an Ashvegas greenway, such as the Weaver Blvd. greenway near UNC Ashvegas.
But giant work, infamously described as a "watermelon and a bannana" or something stupid like that by Councilman Joe Dunn, has rested inside the confines of Pack Place, home to the Ashvegas art museum and Diana Wortham Theatre and such. Council feared public desecration of the piece, especially after the heated rhetoric about buying it.

But can't we put it on display someplace out in the open? It's time to get the conversation started again.

Your ass here
Your ass here.

(oops)

Your ad here.

Group blog
BlogAsheville, a new group blog that came out of the meeting of Ashvegas bloggers on Saturday, is now up thanks to Scrutiny Hooligans. Check it out. It's going to be a cool evolution.

A pronouncer
Here's a pronounciation guide for WLOSers, who continue to struggle as Julie (the Joker) Wunder did tonight:
Cruso: Crew-so (not "Ca-roo-so," Julie)
Cashiers: Cashers (not "ca-sheers," for goodness sakes)
Current: current (not "ca-rrent," Darcel)

Candice, an army of one
What the hell was Candice Little wearing tonight - some kind of weird tigh-collared jacket. Did she join Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart Club Debutantes, or what?

UPDATE: Candice changed her jacket to a wonderful purple lilac with narrow lapels for the 11. Perfect.

Russian folk singer
Russian folk singer Jamuna will be performing at the UNC Ashvegas "Concerts on the Quad" series. She's the opening act at 7 p.m. Headliners are Moscow Nights. The show is free and open to anyone. Check her out.

Cupcakes - yum
Everything you needed to know about cupcakes.

Naked (not) bike ride
Despite all the hype, from Ashvegas bloggers and others, the naked bike ride turned out to be a non-event. Judging from the local TV news, it looked as though all of about four or five bikers, who all appeared male (although in Ashvegas you never know) turned out to glide down Biltmore Avenue without wearing shirts. So much for making a political statement (or whatever the hell you're supposed to be doing while riding a bike naked).

Bulldog says...

If Myrtle Beach is the Redneck Riviera, then surely Gatlinburg must be the Robbinsville Riviera. Everybody goes there to get married if the bride is old enough to cross state lines.

Also, 'Dog's got this on car dealers:

Why do car dealers seem to believe that if they do their own commercials and show their kids and their dogs and quote Bible scriptures that we’ll be more inclined to buy a car from them, or that we’ll think of them as “family”? Hell, if I wanted to be “treated like family” I’d just walk in, open my wallet and loan them money.

One of the worst transgressors is in Hendersonville, where the owner now dresses as a rapper and has corralled his entire staff into a horrible rendition of “You can’t beat this.” Do these guys have no shame, or are their egos so outsized that they’ll do anything just to be on TV?

Bulletin No. 1: You can buy a video camera and play it back on your own TV and not insult the rest of us for a lot less than that 30-second spot on the 6 o’clock news.

Bulletin No. 2: I want a quality vehicle at a reasonable price. I don’t want to bond with you, or become your newest family member.
And who is the marketing guru who came up with the clowns that do the Asheville Dodge infomercial on Saturday mornings? Assuming I ever wanted a Dodge, the last place I’d look would be a dealership run by absolute fools.

Bulldog's barking again.

Riddle me this

OK, you guys know what "blind items" are, right? Don't you read the NY tabloids? They're those juicy, juicy tidbits that don't have names attached, but tantilize you with just enough info to keep you guessing.

Ashvegas is gonna kick that off tonight:
Which teevee lovely won't go to a posh downtown salon anymore after they refused to use more peroxide on her pretty little head?

Bulldog on barbecue

Here's more on Bulldog's take on the Great Barbecue Debate:

Interesting debate on the merits of Eastern vs. Western barbecue. But what it comes down to is that either style beats hell out of tofu. Now, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't deny anyone the right to eat vegetables as a sole source of food. If you want to call yourself a "vegan" and put low-cal dressing on a bowl of stuff that looks like it was prepared with a weed-eater, that's OK with me.
But when the buffet opens, I'll be in the line marked "Predators." I didn't spend all these years working my way up the food chain to eat soyburgers.

Bumper Sticker: Vegetarian - Old Indian Word for Lousy Hunter.

'Shut up!'

John "Punnyman" Le dives into a report about a local cattle call as he reads lines with an aspiring actress. In the scene, Le starts off, then is interrupted: "Shut up. Shut up, you smutpile!"

No truer words have been spoken.

Whatever happened to...

Kathy Scott. Kathy was a perky local TV news reader who won a regional Emmy after being in the right place at the right time.
Kathy was visiting New York and the set of "Good Morning America" for some lame report when she ran into the biggest story of her life - the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. She did reports with the tower debris in the background, then returned for a series on Ashvegas connections to New York with the terrorist attack as the news hook. Scott shot video herself and slept on a friend's floor because WLOS didn't want to pay big bucks for her trip.

Kathy's reports, dubbed "Return to Ground Zero," was up against a story done by a team of 16 from Atlanta, and she won.

Kathy, who got engaged to a Grove Park Inn chef, moved on to WBTV in Charlotte briefly, then dropped off the airwaves. Anyone know what happened to her?

Bowden in Ashvegas?
We're not sure, but we're spreading the rumor. Not sure why the Fla. State football coach would be visiting, but you never know.

McDowell mayhem

McDowell County has the best police blotter in the mountains. Here are a couple more examples. Check out the local newspaper here.

Drive-thru crash

A couple of dummies wrecked their car in the Old Fort Burger King drive-thru and ended up getting busted. Police said they found a "substantial" amount - 17 grams - of crack when they investigated the wreck.

You want fries with that?

Taking care of monster-in-law

A McDowell County jury convicted a former correctional officer for assaulting his ex-mother-in-law during an argument that ended up with said monster-in-law tossed to the floor and cuffed.

The 25-year-old dude accused of assault chose to represent himself in court (that's always a bad sign). Here's a neat twist - in an earlier court case, mom-in-law had been convicted of assaulting the dude in the same confrontation.

Here's the story:

Monster-in-law, now the dude's former mother-in-law, testified that she visited her daughter’s apartment on Riverview Drive on the afternoon of Aug. 27, 2004, to babysit her grandchildren.

She said a spat between she and her son-in-law began when he told her she had no right to discipline her grandchildren, who do not biologically belong to him.

The dude told the jurors that grandmom angrily came at him, pointing her finger and yelling obscenities.

As she stepped toward the dude, her left breast hit him on his chest, according to his testimony.

She said he then exclaimed, "So now you’re assaulting me."

The dude claims monster-in-law spit on him. She said she coughed and may have accidentally done so.

The dude, a former prison correctional officer, carried a pistol strapped to his hip. He said he grabbed her by the arm, threw her to the floor and slapped cuffs on one of her hands.

She had just injured one of her shoulders and was in severe pain, she told the jurors.

Police arrived to find grandmom on her stomach on the floor and the dude kneeling on her back, the officers said.

The cops said that the dude said he wanted his mother-in-law charged with a felony for spitting on him since he was a law enforcement officer. The deputy told him, since he wasn’t serving in a law enforcement capacity at the time of the incident, spitting wasn’t a crime.

Turner turning heads
Got a reliable report over the weekend that Ted Turner was spotted at UNC Ashvegas graduation on Saturday. One fan asked for a picture with the cable news mogul and was sternly told "No."

I don't know his family connections, so I have no idea if he was there to see someone walk the stage or just visiting. I'd like to ask him what he thinks about Jane's new book and movie.

Newsweek in trouble
You've probably seen the story by now - a small, poorly sourced blurb in Newsweek that led to some violent reaction was reported in error.
Newsweek is now falling all over itself to apologize for running the short story, which said that it had confirmed that interrogaters at Guatanamo Bay had flushed a Qur'an down the toilet to try and get someone to talk. The story caused a violent backlash in the Mideast. Here's the magazine's long explanation.

Note to Newsweek: Relying on one source for a story does not a story make. (I do it all the time on this blog, which is not real journalism, just in case you're wondering).

Atlanta Child Murders back in the news
It's been 25 years since we were shocked and frightened by the apparent serial killings of children in Atlanta. No small amount of fear remains buried in my psyche, even though I never lived in Atlanta at the time (although Ashvegas ain't all that far away).
Now the Atlanta Journal Constitution reports that a police chief is reopening investigations into five cases. As you'll recall, the case tapped into some serious racial undercurrents in Hotlanta, and the country. The victims were black. Wayne Williams, although he was never convicted of killing a child (instead, two men), was tagged with responsibility and remains in prison.

But many in the black community have always wondered if the police didn't close the books on the case a little too soon. Questions have remained about Williams' culpability in it all, and he has always maintained his innocence.

This is one to watch.

Morris the Cat
Morris Hatalsky, who plays golf on the PGA Senior Tour and lives in Western North Carolina, will compete in a playoff Monday. Check him out if you get the chance.

More news from weird WNC:

E-mail me
I need tips, news, comments, criticism. Post on this site or send to sweetashvegas@hotmail.com.

Where's the body?
This is an interesting debate.
William Nidiffer has been dead for four months.

Dead from a shotgun wound to the chest, his body was found Jan. 8 in the area known as Ephrum Gap, near Unaka Mountain.

Since then, experts have disagreed on whether the crime scene is in North Carolina or Tennessee, and the investigation has been passed back and forth between Mitchell and Unicoi County Sheriff's Departments.

Bear hits car
Check out this story out of McDowell County.
"Unsure exactly what hit her, (the motorist) said she looked in her rearview mirror and saw a bear she believes weighed between 200 to 210 pounds.

"'It was a pretty good size hunk of bear,' she said, adding she was more startled than scared by the encounter."

Emu bites dust

A runaway emu bit the dust once police caught up with him, also in Mac-Dowell County. What to do with a dead emu?
"The emu, similar to an ostrich, is native to Australia and was imported into the United States first during the ‘30s as exotic zoo stock. During the last several decades, people have started raising the bird for its lean meat and hide.

"It has a red meat, similar in taste and appearance to very lean beef that is lower in cholesterol but higher in protein than most cuts of beef. The hide is used for boots, belts, luggage, and accessory items. It is also becoming well known for the unique, penetrating oil which can be obtained from the bird, according to a Web site for the N.C. Department of Agriculture & Consumer Services."

Miller time
Liberal radio talking head Stephanie Miller and sidekick will be at the Orange Peel on June 9.

Miller is on a roll. She's taken her show on the road recently and will stop by Ashvegas this summer. Pretty cool that she'll come here - she must know she's got a strong base of listeners. Ashvegas callers reguarly make it through to talk to her, and I think her ratings must be good for Asheville to be carrying the show (880 AM).

See you then, Stef.

Cornering the Grove Corner Market

The Grove Corner Market inside the Grove Arcade has laid off all employees. Those who work there are now simply working for food. The owner is apparently desperate for cash.

This is a bad sign. It's the canary in the coal mine. The Grove Arcade is tanking.

The arcade project took years to get off the ground, and untold thousands of dollars, including taxpayers' dollars. It's a beautiful, historic building. And I think the idea of mixing shops with office space and residential living can work.
But it's not working for the Grove Arcade. It's empty most days. Many store spaces facing the street, and inside the arcade, remain empty. Parking, and the lack of a big draw, are the main problems. A new deck over on Haywood Street is coming, but downtown businesses continue to resist the idea of a chain retailer moving in. But the fact is, the arcade needs a destination shop (dare I say a Gap or a Pottery Barn?) to get people to come down and keep coming.

The arcade management is scrambling to put together a visitor's center inside somewhere, but I think it's too little, too late.

Forget the corner market. They're not even loyal to their employees. Support the Pie Lady. And Anntony's.

Speilberg on the move?
Just a few feet away, more rumors are flying. I know you've heard it - it's been going around town for nigh onto two years now. Stephen Speilberg has purchased the top floor of the Battery Park condos going up in downtown Ashvegas. That's the rumor, anyway.
I can't tell you how many people have asked me about it. Honey, I have no idea, I tell them. I'll keep checking property tax records, and I'll keep my eyes open. But how does something like this get started?
Maybe somebody just got the name wrong. Is it actually Steven Seagal? Little Steven? The Steve Miller Band? Maybe it's just horseshit, like the rumor a few years ago that Tom Cruise had moved to town.

Speaking of Tom, check out Tom and Katie in this great Flash movie.

Rolling Stones rolling our way?

Everyone knows the Rolling Stones are planning to tour again this year. The Rolling Stones are the kings of rock'n'roll, and they just keep going.  And everyone knows there's a press conference tomorrow to announce more of their schedule.

This fan site notes that the Stones will make a stop in Charlotte this fall. Be on the lookout tomorrow for that exact date. Heck, the trip from Ashvegas to Charlotte is just a couple of hours. It'd be worth it to see the Stones.

The Beer Guy tops the list

The latest issue of Frommer's "Budget Traveler magazine has a big story on the top 25 reasons why Asheville is a great place to visit. The Beer Guy (you've seen him on this blog before) ranks #3. Pretty cool. The story mentions other Ashvegas institutions, such as Shindig on the Green, the Blue Ridge Parkway and more. Check it out - you can get the mag at Barnes and Noble.

Bizzaro links
Here is a bizzaro site you've got to check out. If you like simple animation and singing animals, this one is for you.

Viking kitties: Zepplin never sounded so trippy.

When biscuits go wrong: Or the mango tango.

The wrong bananas: Chimps gone wild.

The source: www.rathergood.com.

Iggy Pop's ocelots: just plain weird.

In the Blogosphere
Check out this site. It bills itself as a fantasy stock market where weblogs are the companies. You can invest fake money to buy shares of blogs, which are valued by their links in and out.

'I'm goin' to the chapel, and I'm gonna get...' political?

Wonder what's going on at East Waynesville Baptist Church this morning? Will the faithful be in a furor? What will the preacher say today? I thought about driving out there, but I've got some Mother's Day duties to attend to. Still, if I get a report, I'll let you know.

Meanwhile, the story spreads. story after story after story. Here's the latest story.

Spreadhead cracks head
The Widespread Panic fans known as Spreadheads were out in full force in downtown Ashvegas last evening. One bunch of partiers got busted in a parking lot. The cops pulled a keg out of the back of a vehicle and what tumbled out with it? A big ol bag o' Mary Jane. Oops.

Later Saturday, the cops got a 911 call to attend someone who had fallen down and cracked open his head. It went something like this:
Dispatch: "Asheville Civic Center. Subject in need of assistance."
Paramedic to dispatch: "Subject with a gash to his head. Bleeding profusely."
Long pause.
Paramedic: "Be advised - subject's friends say he had cocaine and mushrooms tonight."
Ouch.

Montgomery to Gentry: The show must go on
Country duo Montgomery Gentry visited Ashvegas last week. One of 'em came away with an injury. Here's the down-low from TwangTownUSA.com:

On Thursday night in Asheville, Eddie Montgomery of Montgomery Gentry stepped on a speaker cabinet beside the stage, which gave way and sent him tumbling to the arena floor. Montgomery dusted himself off and completed the rest of the 90-minute set. After a trip to the local ER it was determined he had broken four bones in his left wrist. Montgomery was put in a cast and is on his way to Mississippi for shows this weekend.
“I knew it was a serious injury by the look on Eddie’s face and the fact that his arm was dangling at his side the rest of the show,” said Gentry.

WKSF Assistant Program Director/Music Director Brian Hatfield told AllAboutCountry Montgomery blacked out for about 30 seconds, got up and taped his wrist up and finished the entire show.

I heard old Eddie grabbed a roll of duct tape and wrapped himself up. Thank goodness for duct tape. Them country boys is tough.

More blog bits for ya. I watch the celebs so you don't have to:

From the ATL to the AVL
Cee-Lo Green brought his act to Ashvegas earlier in the week, and I wish I had stayed on top of things because if I'd known he was going to be in town, I would have shagged my sorry ass down to the Peel to see him. He apparently put on quite a show, and it wasn't all about the music.

If you haven't heard of Cee-Lo, you're not alone. Cee-Lo started with an Outkast posse, then moved to the Goodie Mob. Now he's on his own, touring to promote his second album, Cee-Lo Green is the Soul Machine.
He's somewhere between Andre 3000 and my man Anthony Hamilton. He mixes up gospel and hip hop and spoken word and can scat and rap and do all 'dat. He's hard to assign a genre. And he's got this thug persona, even though he's throwin' out smooth R&B and gospel, plus the rap. Still, it's good stuff. Check it out.

Anyway, in town he had some equipment problems. His DJ's mixer went on the fritz, then Cee-Lo went on the fritz and punched the damn machine. He tried going it alone, then gave up. He didn't play an hour. Read about it here.

Miller time
I've heard that Stephanie Miller, who has a talk show on the Air America Radio Network, will be visiting Ashvegas sometime in May. It's pretty amazing that WPEK, AM 880 on the dial, is broadcasting her show - we're there with major city markets like LA, where she's based.

Clear Channel owns WPEK and put liberal radio on the air here last year. Here's some background, although the link is old.

Miller's got a horsey laugh and can sing a one-note song for days if she's got a hot one on the line like Jeff Gannon or Tom DeLay. But it's a nice balance to the local airwaves once dominated by rightwing nutbags who had the same five callers every day. (Cecil, Grady, Don, y'all know who you are.)

Smathers and Shuler
OK, he's not a celebrity yet, but he may well be. Actually, he is, but only in Canton. Mayor Pat Smathers says he's thinking about running a statewide race for Lt. Guv.

I don't know much about Smathers, other than he rules our smelly neighbor to the west (they've got a paper mill there). But he seems to be quite a back-slapper, and if you want to work in Raleigh, but you don't want to work, why not be Lt. Guv.?

While we're on the topic of celebs in politics, I guess y'all have heard that Heath Shuler says he may run against U.S. Rep. Charles Taylor. Shuler went to Swain County High School where he starred as a quarterback, then went on to star as a Volunteer at UT. Then he went to the NFL and flopped.

Anyhoo, it's Dems who are laying claim to Shuler now, even though he campaigned for Republicans in local races in east Tenn. a few years ago. Word is he was also a registered Repub. there, too.

Shuler will speak at Reynolds High School's annual Hall of Fame Banquet at 7 p.m. May 14 at the Holiday Inn Sunspree if you want to try to pin him down. Note to WNC Dems - time's running out for you to pick someone and get organized if you think you stand half a chance against Taylor, which, by the way, you don't.

A few assorted items:

The new pope
We have a pope. Ratzinger from Germany. Pope Benedict the 16th. The bells have been ringing, the white smoke pouring out of the chimney. I know you've been on the edge of your seat about this...

Mum not mayor
Ashvegas City Councilman Carl Mumpower, or the Power of Mum as I call him, is NOT running for mayor. He also notes in a recent e-mail that he may not run for re-election.
That's interesting. Many thought he was. As y'all know, City Council elections will be held this year (filing starts this summer) and many local politicos will be watching closely.

One key question - will City Council move back to be dominated by the more liberal factions of the city. Right now, the tilt is toward business interests, with the Power of Mum, Joe Dunn, Jan Davis and Mayor Charles Worley.

But after last year's presidential election, the left wing of the local Democratic Party came to power. The "Kucinich Democrats" are now well-organized and have been exercising their power at the grass-roots level, by getting people elected to represent at the state Democratic Party's meetings and such. So we'll see.

Of course, the current business-minded group followed the Leni years, when the granolas were in their heydey with Ashvegas' first woman mayor.

Here's the Power of Mum's note in which he makes his statement. The note relates to the ongoing water wars between the city and county.

"I have no personal agendas in this matter and continue to be open to a water authority or city management depending on what facts and fairness lead us to.  I am not running for Mayor or using this matter as an attention getting opportunity, and, in fact, have serious questions about whether I will seek reelection to City Council.  Nonetheless, I am willing to accept the criticism and personal attacks my position affords.  Unlike many of the players in this process, whose actions poorly match their words, I am more concerned with the future of the people of Asheville and Buncombe County than I am my own.  It may be time for the media to consider a similar course."

The Cookie Monster controversy
Have you read about the remaking of the Cookie Monster into a politicall correct healthy eater. I received this note back:
Your article about the Cookie Monster having his cookie eating limited resonated with me. I've begun an online petition in hopes of grabbing "Sesame Street" producers' attention. Please consider raising awareness of the initiative. Thank you.
Here's the petition.

Ashvegas new biz announcement
The Dirty Hoe Landscaping and Gardening; new service establishment; 111 Spooks Branch Road, 28804; Donna E. Price.

Imagine calling up and getting this woman on the phone: "Hi, the Dirty Hoe. How can I help you?"

Speaking of dirty 'hos
I have it on good authority that Brian Peterson, former Ashvegas councilman who got tangled up in a scandal over his meetings with prostitutes, has been seen shopping at the new Wal-Mart Supercenter in east Asheville.

This is ironic. Petererson was the lone council "no" vote during the raging debate a few years ago when City Council struggled over whether or not to let developers build the massive shopping center along Swannanoa River Road.

Now he's shopping there?! Have you no self-respect, man?! How the mighty have fallen.

Air guitar competition for the ages
Finally, if you're an air guitar freak, here's your chance (Tom, am I talking to you?) The Westville will host a regional competition in the National Air Guitar Championship.

The air guitarists have 60 seconds of a song of their choosing to get all the windmills in that they can. No prop are allowed, although you can wear big hair and headbands are encouraged. Finalists will compete against one another in the dreaded "mystery song" category.

The winner goes to LA for the nationals. That winner goes to the world competition in Finland in August.

Be at the Westville May 6.

I've got a friend who says he's going to shock the competition by rocking out an acoustic air guitar.